Rant

BBC News in the morning, just never fails to set me off for the day with a huge sense of Gloom and Doom. Father Weather of course, does his part, Keeping the taps in the sky on; and together, me and the retarded-broken-curved umbrella made the wet trudge to my car. Ahh, the musky smell of Dismal mornings.

Then i reached my car, and i realised, that there is no possible way- save using a Harry Potter-esque spell- to get into a car, without getting wet. None, Zilch, Zero. You cannot get into a car, while holding an open umbrella, without getting some part of you, and the inside of your door wet! It just doesn't Exist.

And that is how i conveniently forgot, that a bomb went of in Algiers, near a UN building, killing about 20 people. Ahh, Its Good to be Human, A hundred can be dead, but Liverpool making it through to the Champions League Knock out Stage, thats the REAL news!!

Eruct

And what do you know. Its the last month of the 2007th year since they started counting years. One year's worth full of whining, writing, drinking, reading, jumping, drinking, footballing, drinking, hiding, Hospitaling, all kinds of -ings. And with their help, an entire year of ings have come to pass.

Honestly, it all seems a blur. A mesh of dark weekends, and white-washed-wall weekdays. Couple that with a hazy memory, a lethargic aversion to recollection, and lots and lots of Bottles on the wall, and i've come to this pivotal apogee, this quintessential abridgment, for the assemblage of 365(thereabouts) days past....

*BURP*

...........................

Reflection

Reflection
=========
I let my thoughts wander,
Each time a Little Too Far,
They yearn to Understand my journey,
To know who's driving this car,

I see a person in the mirror,
A weathered, unfamiliar face,
How he arrived in my Reflection,
My Memory fails to Place.

I long to return to the Bosom,
Of a time of a Childish Bliss..
A Place where Innocence flowed Unbound,
As Fountains in a Golden Chalice...
==============================

This is another old poem. Something i'd like to keep. From one of my lonely nights away from home a long time ago. Entangled in trivialities. However, such is life. Sometimes it just feels as if we're not in control, that someone hit that autopilot switch, and we're just along for the ride. Maybe it is. Maybe It isn't, but i think this "Reflection" doesn't change anytime that i read it.

Irony

I always wait till i have something meaningful to write, before i decide to come here and put something down. However, increasingly, i find that there's little meaningful, insightful, or funny for me to write about. Either my ability to eviscerate humour from the world around me has taken a severe hammering, or, there's just nothing much going on!

My life has kind of settled into a routine. Monday to Sunday. Same things, same people, same time, same everything. As Stephen King so eloquently put it, its basically been, SSDD;

Same Shit Different Day.

Such melancholy, just punctures a hole in your sinews of creativity. And all your inspiration, contemplations, and musings just seep out through there, into the void that is routine. Absent of that little spark of difference.

But therein, Therein lies the irony doesn't it? In melancholy lies the muse, and in having nothing of note to pen, words have conglomerated to form the idea, that there is no idea.

Life's little ironies. Found yours for today yet or are you still confused?

Morbid Dreams

Morbid Dreams
+++++++++
He Awoke Forthwith,
Cold sweat on his cheeks,
The dream was warm,
With a cold Hard Twist,
The stains on his face,
A Testament; Birth,
Of teary knives skidding,
From Eye to Earth,

His Glassy eyes took in,
The Icy Glaze of the Environs,
Unable to Discern,
The Edge of Reality's Pylons,
Fingers trembling,
He reached into the Mist,
A Desperate Grasp,
For Comfort's Fading Wrist,

Eyes Open, He slumbered Once More,
A corpse writhed Among Sheep,
Only to wake, Finally Cognizant,
It wasn't A Dream,
The Mist was real,
The Devil had Come to Call..

========================

Sometimes, we live through moments, that seem dark and void of all things good. And often, we find that the dank gloom is not unfamiliar; maybe because dark alleys all carry the same aura of foreboding. Of course, in time, such moments pass, and things might get better. But, This is for those Dark times.

Obviously! lol

Sun-Fright

I really have to say, that apart from when i'm playing football, i really have an aversion to sunlight. The sheer brightness of the world thru my open windows every morning, are a consistent pain on my grubby/drunk/not-enough-sleep eyes (cancel as appropriate).

Nights on the other hand, are so much more inviting. You can do everything comfortably. You eat the best meal of the day at night, you can sleep whenever you want(until of course the sunlight comes and stabs you in the eye), you can cozy up to a scary/dramatic/pot-head movie, You can bring yourself a step closer to qualifying for alcoholics anonymous, You can look at stars, and you can CHOOSE the kinda light, and the level of light you want, its just so much more condescending the night is. It's like spending the weekend at you Grandparents house, they let you get away with anything!

I know you morning people are out there, with your 5.30am alarms, and 6am jogs. Absolutely mental if you ask me. Daylight should be for all of 4hrs, long enough for plants to photosynthesis, for us to clear our emails, have our bacon for the day, and return to relaxing bosom of night.

Hmm, i wonder who i can petition to!?

Split ends

I've effectively gone from the Not-so-daily-gazza, to the Once-in-awhile-if-you're-lucky gazza. Well, not like any one is up in arms, and holding cyber rallies that i'm not writing, so its really not too bad. Except for myself, when i look at the triple-declining balance form that my post counts are taking over time.

Anyways, there's just been a lack of inspiration aura about me, that's just sucked all ideas, and positive action out of me. I've turned into a net potato, scouring the deviously deep depths of cyberspace, boldly following links that no man has ever followed before.

I wish. lol
===========================

Now, as for you Mr. Descartes aka Mark, for the whole God is looking over us bit. I think its far from true. If every good thing is to be attributed to an almighty, then i think its only fair that every bad thing should bear his signature too.

Yet, conventional religion teaches different. Good things come from above, and all the messed up things is the doing of that dude from Australia. Which hardly seems fair, cause even if we think something bad is from God, we believe its a test, and that its only going to get better if we get out of it. We don't go around denouncing him, and trying to exorcise him from our lives do we?

I doubt that reality is tied in with a God overlooking us. Most of the time, its a handful of good friends, and the love of a family, or even a random good-willed stranger. And the old, God is moving thru them argument, is a little overused. Cos really, he should be moving thru some OTHER people instead, like those goons tearing the world apart for silver cars, castles, and bottomless swiss bank accounts.

Nope when good things happen, it means that you did good. And if bad things happen, well you probably screwed up some where, and frankly, we'll never ever get things the way we want it, there's just too many ever-changing variables that go into keeping one happy, that'll it'll never ever balance. So bad things happening to you is the one things you can bet your left eye on! hehe

California Dreaming

Alright, i've been taking a long break. Not really! Busy times these are, what with wars, Birthdays, and dodgy Traffic police, a Man rarely has time to even remember that he has to come here and write on occasion.

Anyways, i know i promised you Mr. Descartes that i'd have an answer for you, but i feel like a more pressing feeling to write about this song. I was listening to it twice on my way to work today, its a good song, called "California Dreaming." The First part of the Song,

All the Leaves are Brown,
And the Sky is Grey,
I've Been for a Walk,
On a Winter's Day,
I'd be Safe and warm,
If I was in LA,
California Dreaming,
On Such a Winter's Day..

And you know what, I AM California Dreaming.

The Living Years

There is a song that my sister introduced me to a couple of years ago. It's called the "The Living Years", By Mike and the Mechanics. We were in a car when i heard that song; seems so long ago; Like another life time. I guess its because life this way of throwing rather sharp turns. And we hardly know where we end up till we get there.

Anyways, since April 13, 2006, this song took a different meaning for me. I always find that when i listen to it, especially when i'm alone, it always brings a tear to my eye. Yet, every time i burn a CD for my car, i always make sure i put it in.

And then there'll be evenings like yesterday, when it's a late and long day, i'm in my car, driving home alone, and this song comes on, and its words resound in my ear, and i find that familiar tear again. But i love it, because it helps me remember. And i won't give that up for the world.

But i hope this song will help you in a different and brighter way.

Here's the lyrics to the song:

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him
In the living years

Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up,
And don't give in
You may just be OK

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning
When my father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say.
I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him
In the living years

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye
=================

And here's the Video for you too..=)

Good Bye August

Finally the Sun decides to make a brief glimpse from behind the Dark Clouds that have been enveloping our Fair City, incessantly, bathing us in torrential rain. Ironically, maybe even a little diabolically, at the times when we are gearing up for football. Seriously! What is up with that!?

Hopefully, this weather holds out until Sunday. The loss of Football is almost too painful to bear. Father Weather has been neglecting his duties. Anyways, i hardly have anything, good, funny or intelligent to say, so i'll just leave it at that.

Good Bye August!

Macbeth's Curse

Macbeth's Curse
=======================
Silent Memories Rekindled,
Replaying that Solemn day,
Behind the eyes, Encamped,
Emotions they foray,
Little Peace, Birth of time,
They shatter in moments,
Their murder within,
Hidden without Testament,

El Muerte thru him, Paid a visit,
Ill-Timed, One Dark Spring Noon,
Tainting his hands with Blood,
Shining Dark in the light of the Moon,
As Her Sails Bore her west,
The Sunset Caressing her Face,
Macbeth's Curse He Toted,
As her memory he Embraced,

Memory Lane Has no end,
Only a Gate to time,
A Path trodden bare,
Footprints Revisited,
Hooked on the Same Line
============================

Rain Pain

Rainy days are nice, if you're home, feeling lazy, have a nice movie, cozy in bed, wrapped in a blanket with the curtains drawn, and, i can just go on and on. But None of it will entail, sitting in a white wash office, answering irritating phone calls, and drinking cup after cup of instant coffee.

The weather has really been a bitch recently. HOT AS HITLER'S ROOM IN HELL! Up until 4pm on sunday. When suddenly, all these black-i-hate-football clouds materialise out of nowhere, and proceed to behave like Katrina's 2nd cousins twice removed!

And since, Bishan Park is not a nickname for Carrington training Ground, and under soil heating is about 20 million years coming, Football Got CANCELLED for the first time ever. And i've been weeping in sorrow ever since.

Alot more terrible things happened since than. But, i thought i'd just leave these pages light. =)

Highway to Hell..

What the hell is Going on with the Premiership? The Hell Gates Opened 2 days ago, Technically, the Red Devils should have had all the Help they need. But No, Stammer and stuttering around, Its really frustrating, especially, when i look at the bench, and Don't see Hargreaves, or Anderson anywhere in sight. Grrr, Come On.

Speaking of the Hell gates, Forget SARS, and DENGUE! I need to go indent a bloody Gas mask and a Tank of Oxygen. Who needs Forest fires, when you have people setting Fires EVERYWHERE, they have these nice red bins, all marked up and put all over the block...

But does anyone use them? Hell no. The drains, the grass patches, Heck, even the Concrete of the Void deck, people Happily setting their fires. No one stops them, no one Fines them, If you wanna get away with some Arson, this is the Month to do it. All you have to do is start a fire with Hell money.

I tell ya, i'm half convinced i'm better off being a dead chinese guy. They've got one of the best After-life retirement plans. Dead? No problem, burn me a House, a couple of cordless phones, Maybe two BMWs (soft-tops of course), Couple of trillion dollars in cash(i'm hoping they have a Charles Schwabs on the otherside), They've even got a PS3 now, man i could be set for a LONG time, Eternity even.

Hmmm, i've got to give this some serious Thought! Off to it!

One Reason

One Reason
===========
If One Reason,
Is all you need,
To Breakfast alone today,
Why look up?
Look around,
There's one lying on your tray..

Next to the tea,
By the Scones,
To the left of the Sliced honey ham,
Behind the Cheese,
That corner there,
By the Jar of Strawberry jam,

Guessed you're Excused,
Lucky you,
Found Your Reason To Leave,
Don't worry,
If you lose it,
Another will Give You Reprieve...

=============

I See, I Wish

I See, I Wish
=============
I let my thoughts wander,
Each time a Little Too Far,
They yearn to Understand my journey,
To know who's driving this car,

I see a person in the mirror,
A weathered, unfamiliar face,
How he arrived in my Reflection,
My Memory fails to Place.

I long to return to the Bosom,
Of a time of Youth's Bliss..
A Place where Innocence flowed Unbound,
Like Rivers in a Golden Chalice...
==============================

This is another old poem i really like, written one April night in 2005. Every now and then, i sort of take a break, and look at my life. And i always end up surprising myself. Sometimes, i like what i see, sometimes i don't, but till date, there hasn't been once, where i expected what i saw. I have many plans, but i realise, nothing really happens according to them. I think because most times, we don't really have a choice to the paths that we take, we can only make the best of them.

I Remember..

I Remember..
==============
As such, I haven't forgotten you,
The glow of your face,
The tears that you shed,
When I didn't fall in place,
The Endless steps you climbed,
The night of each day,
The weary of those moments,
Were clear, when in peace you lay,

The irony of life,
A lesson we'll never learn,
That Hindsight's much clearer,
Not what we see this moment,

Now in my thoughts, A year later,
That serene smile remains,
Those lessons taught in silence,
The Pride of your embrace,
I wrote you a thank you then,
And a story of your grace,
Now these songs of the past,
Are all my mind can trace..

Still I miss you,
A lesson I'll never learn,
The Love that left that day,
Was one that can't be earned

========================

This was something i wrote before, on the 1yr anniversary of My Dear Mother's passing. Its something i like, cause each time i read it and re-read it, i still feel the same. It reminds me of everything that my Mom was to me, and rekindles even the smallest of memories. At a time, when new memories are impossible, these are the most precious.

Who's God?

I watched a bit of the movie "The island", last night. There was one line that struck me out of that movie. Not for the first time of cos. A conversation between Lincoln six-echo and one of the engineers that worked at the facility, the engineer guy makes some comment about God, and Six-echo asks

"Who's God?"

And the Engineer dude replies, "Well, you know, when you want something really bad and you close your eyes and you wish for it? God's the guy that ignores you."

I don't have a anything against religion, but i think that is an excellent explanation for who God is. And to tell you the truth, it isn't entirely bad. Maybe God IS ignoring us, why wouldn't he/she? After moulding cosmos and space and time, to blurp our sorry little arse to scurry about, maybe he/she's tired. He/she's probably given us all we need, and we just sound like incessant whiners who can never have enough.

Yea well, i guess when your hopeless, and you need that extra security, its good to be able to utter a prayer. But by the time, you've reached that point, there really is nothing you can do, which is why you're asking the People in the sky in the first place! Cos if you could do something about it, you'd do it, and not be praying about it. Circular logic?

I doubt God is going around rewarding us and tossing trials at us, as and when he/she deems fit. Thats the kind of sadistic things we do playing the Sims video game. Its very human, not Godly. In my opinion of cos.

It makes more sense to bug him to do things for OTHER people. Than if he STILL ignores you, its probably not that he knows better, but more of, well HE'S IGNORING YOU! lol

Harry's Pink Elephant

I watched Harry Potter yesterday. Personally, i enjoyed the movie. Being a kid bred of the magical world of Enid Blyton, any picturization of typical english wizardry always intrigues me.

Its definitely a boyhood fantasy of mine to live in a cottage, next to an enchanted forest, where i can eat picnics of cold ham sandwiches and drink lemonade with a Gnome who lives in a faraway Tree, whose top reaches different lands.

However, i must say, watching the movie, didn't quite evoke those particular set of memories in me. I'll try not to give away too much of the plot, but the events of the movie, kind of had an eerie similarity to the events of the world at present.

For instance, the inquisition at hogwarts, where more and more rules kept getting set by the new totalitarian teacher. Everything from fraternisation, to forming a club, to speaking out; all suddenly became illegal for fear of some fictional conspiracy against the Government. Ironically, the woman, had no care or concern for the children for whom she was supposedly protectively cultivating.

By trying to instill fear, and misdirecting truth with popular media, they effectively cover up the big pink elephant sitting right smack in the middle of the room.

It just has a startling similarity to the events of world today. Just a fortnight after congress came up against president Bush's iraq vendetta, and lack of a withdrawal plan; suddenly yesterday on the news, there's this "Intelligence" released by the Agency, saying that America is under imminent threat by Al Qaeda, and that they are aiming to use Iraq militants to launch an attack on America.

I don't deny that terrorism is a threat. Nations like Thailand, Israel, India, and Pakistan are constantly, and have CONSISTENTLY been fighting fire with terrorism for a decade before this Global war. But the timing of some messages, and the almost predicability with which threat levels coincide with certain polls, it just makes me wonder.

Terrorism is never going to be eradicated. As long as One person, has access to ONE gun, there is ONE whacko terrorist you have got to be worried about. And all it takes is one. Does that mean we have to live a life of fear? Does that mean that it is ok to surrender our freedoms?

Very difficult questions, questions we got to ask ourselves. Are we guilty of not seeing that big pink elephant, with the neon lights and the loudspeaker hailing, standing in the middle of the room?

Words

Picking up where i left off, I feel that between Language and music, we have a taste of some sort of god-like power. Words and speech have such a moving and profound effect on the human mind.

Wars have been fought over the words in books. Am i exaggerating? Nope! Two very famous books, the bible and the Quran, have caused feuds and bloodshed for centuries since their conception. Harmless words, put together by the copulation of a pen and a mind.

And just look at the effect, "The Communist Manifesto", went towards toppling entire governments; in "Mein Kampf", Adolf hitler, went ahead and penned everything about himself, his racist ideologies, and his plans for the Greater Germany, all in plain sight, and yet, he rose to power to commit all of his madness.

How? With great oratory, and the right blend of words, One can move, convict, inspire, degrade, uplift, console, control, lead and mislead. One can rally, and blind the masses, to a feverish fervour, or bring a person to his knees.

Is that not what the essence of power is; The ability to control. Coupled with the ability to create, and manipulate, is that not the power of a God!

Of course, not on the scale to speak into being planets and universes; but on a more human scale. The Jesuses, Mohammeds, Gandhis, Napoleans, and even the Hitlers of human history; are but a small testament, of the marraige of the words and voice, and their daring manipulators.

Nothing To Something

I have had this entry open for a very very long time. Over two days actually. I started writing a story one day, deleted it, started writing a commentary on something, abandoned that, and then i realised, i had no inspiration to write anything at all.

No rhyming words, nothing insightful, nothing to rant about, and i really am not going to bore the 3 people that read this page with mundane details about my life/day/week (there are like 80 gazillion blogs out there doing that already). So for weeks like these, i decided to do a little cheating, and re-post some of my older stuff, that i've archived.

Words, put down on a page offer some kind of amnesty. A release of sorts from the terrible places deep inside us, that no one really knows. Unless i'm some kind of anomaly, i think most people know what i'm talking about. Those feelings, dread, secrets and fears that we hide behind the facade of our faces. Alien to those around us, or even close to us.

But, with the facility of words, we can leave traces of these places; in pages in plain sight of everyone. And still live with the peace that their meaning will always be a question mark to their interpreters. Its almost a power, like an inside joke, and i for one, love to indulge in it.

I feel that between Language and music, we have a taste of some sort of god-like powers. My "why's" to that claim, i'll leave for another day. Atleast, i'll have something to write about. For now, i have to adjourn.

Ironically, beginning with nothing to write about, suddenly, i have a full page. How queer. Guess a re-post of something will have to wait for another day! LOL

Days or Daze

There are days, and then there are days, And today oddly, doesn't fit in either category yet. Probably because it's entirely too early. The smooth traffic waltz into the office, had me hoping that it would be the former; than i proceeded to spill coffee all over my desk, and that gave me my inkling that it was shaping into something like the latter!



However, positivity, is an attitude (Don't you just love Cliches), and i shall adopt it, at the least for the duration of this verse!

Its a Race!

The work week runs to a close in a few hours. And with that, the "fun-er" portion of the week begins. Or so we think. My weekend seems already plotted, even over plotted if i may rant. Like one of those mad movies with 182 characters, 29 plot twists and 56 scenery changes. Its all very tiresome already.

Its like a race, bam, the checkered flag falls at 4pm(-for today), i shift into first and rev my way outta the office, vrroooooom, screeeeech, drop gear, first turn, Home, vrrm vrrrmm rev around it, then drop another gear, vrrrrrrrrooooom outta the house, S-curve approaching, Chan's Wedding cum post party with the boys, drift thru it, VREEE VREE VREEE, half clutching while peddling the gas for dear life, drink a little too much, almost lose control of the car, but nope, it straightens,

VRrrooooooom, straightway looms, saturday, gun the gas pedal, pedal to the metal baby!! vrrroooom, lunch, the high tuned engine reaches fever pitch, sat night, dinner, vrrrooooooo, wide curve, into a sharp right, back home...Time for a pit stop.

Refueled, sunday, VRROOOOOOOOOM accelerate out of the pit, drift out wide, Tampines, visit the aunt, wring the steering wheel left, drop a gear, cut back thru another sharp left, back home, straighten out, vrmmmm, soccer time, double S-curve, drift left, vrrrrrroooo, right, vrrrrrrooooo, left again, vrrrrooo, hard right, shift down, vrrom, straightway, the checkered flag is straight ahead, almost there.....

PFFFFFFFTTT tire bursts, the car spirals, BOOOM, side wall. CRASH! Weekend's over, 2 metres away from the checkered flag. The race isn't complete. Cause let's face it, you can never have enough of the weekend! Haha. And i know, by 8pm sunday night, after leaving pieces of my legs, and chunks of others' legs in bishan park, i just craaaaash.

Then Comes Monday. Oh Joy!

Have you

Have You..

========

Have you taken a Moment,

At the Edge of Solemnity,

Amidst the Clouds of Estrangement,

Away from life's Intricacies..

Have you Spent that Moment,

In the Bosom of nature,

Wrapped in the Sun's warm arms,

Listening to the Wind profess its love,

Enchanted by a river's charm..

Have you missed that Moment,

Lying in serenity's lap,

Breathing roses in the air,

The blissful Dreams birthed in sleep,

While Placidity strokes your hair..

I know i do...

Of You

The not-so-daily-gazza returns from another unsanctioned absence.

Of You...

=============

Every now and then,

I steal a glance,

That seems to last a year,

A stolen stare,

A savoured scent,

Of you, My Heart's Endeared,

When your smile,

Colours your face,

And Your Eyes engage mine,

A chorus rides the wind,

My heart drums its beat,

The world Around Declines..

My lips kiss,

In Soft prayer,

For the Perpetuity of this Moment,

Eternity loses its daunt,

Forever falls short,

Of my self, i lose Dominion..

=======================

Solemn Day

Every morning, getting ready for work; i have the tv tuned into BBC news. And you know, i suspect thats why i get so melancholic in the mornings. Hell, i've had better mornings waking up with a hang over, than with a clear head and BBC.

Everyday, its killing, bombs, dead folk, car bombs, mosque bombs, planes dropping bombs, people wearing bombs...Talk about overkill! Every morning, i wake up and hear that 60 odd people were killed, and you know what is scary, the placidity with which this information is entering my head.

I feel quite disgusted with myself actually. On the drive to work today, it kinda bothered me, that for so many days, i'm hearing that all these people are dying, and there aren't any bells and whistles going off in my head. i can safely say, in just 20mins of world news, over the last few days, i've already heard of atleast 200-300 people who have lost their lives.

Isn't that appalling? These people aren't dying because of some plague, or tornado or flood( that's happening too by the way, and it'll take the figure up alot more). This particular dying is going on in the middle east, between iraq and the gazza strip and what not. People taking other people's lives, with no pity, remorse or logical reason.

It seems like human life, has no weight in this day and age. 200 over people dead, and without flinching, i'm contemplating which new video game i should buy. Has it become an okay statistic for hundreds to die, and we'll wait for thousands before it starts to draw shock?

Maybe this is how Hitler got away with genocide. Gradually, increasing the numbers till the rest of us are just numb to the death tolls? Just for your info, this is the figure of civilian casualties taken from www.iraqbodycount.com:

The MINIMUM number is estimated at : 65,689 reported deaths.

ALso, THe coalition has lost 3809 in all this time.

Can you imagine 70,000 people dead? Sure, its been 100 here, 7 there, 15 here, 23 at another place. But, all these meaningless deaths!

Has the world become evil? I don't want to ask where God is in all of this. Because frankly, i think What this world needs is not God. We need some bloody humanity. Some love, and maybe some compassion, and A little feeling of sorrow at what others are facing.

One might say pray, but i believe respect for the lives of others, is not gonna just start falling out from the heavens on these people. It is really sad. I am willing to bet that every religion, and not just Muslims and christians have lost some of their faithful in the chaos of the world these few years.

I don't know where to take this entry, or even how to end it. So i'll just leave it...

Footprints

I know the site is called the DAILY, but the posts are far from daily. Even the weekly timetable is hard to adhere to! Way too much work, and of cos, life to deal with. So either all those folk who write day in and day out, have no work, or no life, or they've excellent time management skills, and i need to get myself checked into one of them seminars!

Anyways, food for thought. I was having a discussion with a friend, about the people that come and go in our lives. I wager its one of the most contemplated phenomenon out there, every one's written about it, talked about it, and wondered in private about it.

If we really take even just a minute, i'm pretty sure over a dozen faces will just pop right in our mental eye. People we had one conversation with, arguement with, someone we danced with, a smile that we just can't shake off or even the stranger who asked us for a dollar somewhere one christmas.

We race through our lives, sometimes forgetting alot of people. But there are times, when i do think about some people, the someones who'll live their entire lives without knowing how just a sentence they uttered took my feet from under me. The hand that i held for 5 mins one evening, but never saw or spoke of again for the rest of my life.

Just some of the hundreds of memories of people that i've bumped into. Its hard to keep coherent thinking of these people. Many of them i remember very fondly, and some less fond than others. It feels queer, that these people, that form the substance of my memories, will not remember or know that there is someone in this vast universe, who still thinks about them, or credits them for something.

The oddities of this life are innumerable. If its our priviledge to be able to question them, it must follow that it is our curse, to be unable to answer them.

This Illusion

This Illusion

-----------------------------

The Sky Lies Still,

Overcast,

A Dim Shadow falls,

The moment stops,

The River Halts,

Its Reflection Shows it all..

There I met,

A man who asked,

A question worth a dime,

A riddle so simple,

A puzzle so raw,

But its answer i couldn't find..

I pace about,

Circles and lines,

Embattled in my mind,

I see the Solution,

A Ghost in Transition,

A Paper with empty lines...

The Old man Snickers,

At my plight,

Laughing Gleefully,

He turns to Ride,

The swelling wave,

And fades into the Sea,

Something familiar,

About his Gait,

Struck me with the Breeze,

My blood ran cold,

The Key turned the Lock,

The Jaded man was me...

=========================

Planning

"Life passes most people by while they're busy making grand plans for it." - "Blow"

One of the many classic lines of the movie. Makes me wonder. If i'm guilty of the above. Although i think, i'm one step worse. My life is passing by, and i'm not even making tiny plans for it. haha. How now? Time to panic i guess.

Or not. I may not have been alive very long. But if there's one thing my 23 years has taught me, its that things never really go as planned. Murphy's Law pretty much says it all! Plans don't depend on the self. They depend on a multitude of different people, and people are unpredictable.

So, if you can't depend on anybody; you can't really plan anything constructive. Ergo, i conclude the only thing you can plan to do, is to not plan anything!

Once again, i've succeeded in confusing myself. *round of applause*

Blurb

The days have been pretty volatile over the week. Something didn't work out too well, and well, things just spiraled downwards after that. You know how it is, when the shit hits the fan, it just gets splattered about, till, well you just can't go anywhere without stepping in the poo.

Oh well. Just gotta shrug it off, Make the best of things, and move on. That's about all i can do. Right world?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyways, I'll be back later. I wanted to write more, but lunch time draws near, and i'm famished. Besides, i'll probably be more productive with something more than just coffee in my system. In the Words of the Governator,

I'll Be Back...

Glass of Eyes..

The Glass of Eyes

~~~~~

Have you felt a Tear Fall,

A single drizzle on A Cheek,

Without fanfare or Bidding,

When sorrow meets its Peak,

Seemingly weightless, careless,

That tear effortlessly glides,

On its way, Without Direction,

Pray tell, Whose call it bides?

Its weight is unbeknownst to any,

Save The Heart that shed it,

No measure to the Burden it Carries,

A vessel that bears no limit..

Its journey south, is the Hardest of all,

For its arms, bear not just Sorrow,

But also, Broken dreams,

And The Shard of a Soul,

It embarks, Leaving a Hollow..

===================================

The First few sentences, were the last few i thought of yesterday. And i thought it was something lovely to write about. The Glass in Your eye...

Abstract..

Day in and day out. I have conversations and arguements. Religion, Ethics, Upbringing, Perspective, Knowledge, Love, Friendship. Ironically, most of these arguements and conversations, are restricted within the voices in my head. Not by choice. Most people i realise, don't like to think about such issues.

Are we so content with believing? Science tells us that the halves our brains themselves differ in opinion. Yet, some (or many for that matter) are content with just one opinion. We submit ourselves to believe what we are told, the religions we are born into, and the philosophies impressed upon us.

We as people close the receptacle that is our mind entirely too early. We vehemently believe in things, without thought, or doubt. We lose the hope to revisit or question ideas, systems or doctrines to easily. We reason that we are too insignificant, that we can't exact a change. Hence why waste the effort.

Yet ironically, we consider ourselves intelligent, evolved and Better than the millions of other things crawling all over this planet. The ability to think is what seperates us from them, yet we rarely exercise it do we? The majority of us have defined ourselves by the intelligent thoughts of the few. The einsteins, Mahatmas, Buddhas, Mohammads and Jesuses of the world.

Are we truly deserving of the rights to boast we've bestowed on ourselves because of the merits of the few? Of course not. And i am no better. That bothers me. Yes, i may be inclined to abstract thought more than many i know, but i think i'm still predisposed to the hopelessness that i'm ineffectual to any fundamental change. Maybe not so much as others, but there is still a lingering doubt in my self.

We should all take the time, some moments of everyday, to think. To revisit our beliefs, to rethink the Facts we know, and well maybe re-evaluate their relevance? Maybe the choices that we were not afforded as kids, should be afforded to our children. Not choices in luxuries, money or comfort. But Choices in Ideas and beliefs.

Have you wondered recently?

Lessons

We wake up each day to be educated. Not neccesarily in an acadamic institution, but it can be anywhere. From, the moment we awake in the morning, we're learning. Learning the taste of the new morning, a new hole in the ground we gotta avoid, something, Something that is there to be learnt.

Most lessons, are subtle aren't they. We don't even realise we are learning them. In fact, i think that without some measure of pain or loss involved, we probably won't realise we're learning something. We spend all our lives searching for pleasure and happiness, yet we define ourselves with pain.

Thus i'm led to those lessons, that we are forced to learn. The most painful ones, That hit us right smack in the between the eyes. We see them rushing at us, but are helpless to alleviate ourselves. A mispoken word, a harsh act, or a lost life. These lessons, don't give us a preceding choice of how we want to learn them, they just collide with us, take a piece of us, and just keep going on.

And we stand there, hurt, raped and with a bitterness in our mouths birthed from our own tears. We stand there, felled, and fundamentally changed. Grasping the gaping wounds together, we speak silent swears, and chastise ourselves.

It is not our world that changes. We do. The world only sees the difference, and attaches labels to it. Each one lesser and further from the truth. Our voice is drowned out by the opinions, and our lessons become unique only to us. We can't share, or explain them. Circumstances, tailor them to us, and we are left to our own device to evolve with them.

So do we we withdraw, glaze over our eyes, Plant a smile on our faces, and try to maintain normality, since Difference always brings critics, so we try to shield them from ourselves. The world is appeased, but the self is deceased. Or do we wear our fears on our faces and foster a new world?

I think that Life's lessons doesn't draw us together, or unite and bond us; no, it alienates us. It changes us, but doesn't change what surrounds us. It is a little disheartening, actually very disheartening, but we still have a choice. Maybe not about lessons we learn, but about what we do with those lessons.

I've learnt my lesson, atleast, this one.

Courtesy Driven Flu

A flu. 8hrs before i leave for bintan, and i contract a flu. Can you believe that. I need a drink. A hard, jarring swig of whisky. That oughta rattle the virus in me. Show the bug who's boss!

It was a rainy morning today. And as follows, the roads were jammed. Never fails. "Rain = Forget-how-to-drive" is the standing equation for 3/4s of the driving population out there. No don't bullshit me that it is a safety issue. If all these wankers, maintain the right distance, and let people get in and outta the lane without accelerating forward to prevent it, and of cos the over-cautious remain OUT of the fast lane, things will run just as normally as in any other day.

But nooooooo. It is way too much to ask. Common Sense and courtesy are not the Singaporean way. Especially Courtesy. We are a country, who needs a frickin cartoon lion, to tell us to be courteous. And thats only for 1 week in the year or something. Apart from that. Singaporeans in general, are a discourteous bunch.

Don't tell me about about the tourism polls or what not. That crap is all fabricated. Day to day, dealing with people, queuing up to buy food, waiting for a table, there's just a million examples. And i'll just frustrate myself listing them all out here. Some people, you just smile at them, wow, they look at you like you're crazy, and if you say thank you, they act as if they deserved it all along, and of "Excuse Me," is a phrase that was i think greatly obliterated from our curriculum.

We don't need a Courtesy Campaign in thise country. We need an Entire Revolution!

Pensive Melancholy...

The Sun blazes a red hue,
Dust settles on the morning dew,
Weary eyes awake alone,
And Glimpse a world torn in two..

A lover offers no Solace,
Directions haven't a face,
straightening his legs, facing the cold,
He begins to walk this race..

Faith is not a commodity,
Hope a forlorn charity,
Content in the perverse silence,
Peace defines itself abstrusely..

God hasn't come by here,
There's No Angelic Choir,
The Saints have returned to dust,
And the wine has turned to water..

Key of D

Dissertations Derived from the Drone of a Deluded Dignitary Dubiously Deficient of Due Diligence. That is my definition (In the Key of D); of a phenomenon that plagues the working World today. It is a plague that spans hours in formulation, but is deceptively called, "Minutes".

Yes, i had to spend a good part of my morning getting together the loathsome thing mentioned above. Its even more annoying, when one doesn't know the people talking, and hence can't really associate which bloke said what in the aftermath. And these blokes have a LOT to say.

Well it could be worse, instead of spending Hours writing something called "Minutes", i guess i could be spending Days writing something called "Hours". *Cheesy Joke Drum Roll*

Good day folks, Enjoy your wednesdays, you're almost there!!

Rain Odour

The weather has been rather unpredictable. From bright cloudless and blazing hot, to sudden downpour with no glimpse of sunlight. OR even better, Bright and sunny and still raining. Thats when you get that musky smell. Rain Odour.

So how? Is the world ending? Global Warming? Rising Carbon Dioxide levels? Hole/holes in the Ozone layer? Are we all gonna die?!! arrgghh...

Well, if you've seen a George Carlin stand-up, he highlights a very very good point. The world isn't ending!! Maybe WE are ending, but the world isn't. This little rock floating abt in the emptiness/fullness of space is BILLIONS of years old, as far as we can tell atleast. And on that kinda timescale, the 200,000 grand years we've been around, is like a week vacation in amsterdam, and the 200 yrs of fossil fuels is like a Saturday night downing 8 bottles of chivas. Doesn't THAT make us feel like oh so significant little blokes?

Another interesting thing. Guess what happens when ur body gets some gunk on it that it doesn't like? It gets hot! Fevers are one of the ways the body tries to get rid of infections. Hmmm, so if the earth is getting hot, maybe its just got a little fever? Uh oh!

We the Greatest Species on this Planet, the smarter, less hairier and much more cramped Cousins of the apes are nothing more than a little infection! Has that possibility crossed your mind? It has crossed mine. One of those things i doubt i'll have or get an answer for.

I got a LOT more where that came from. Maybe, Tomorrow we can discuss ants?

1st Edition

It's a good day for the birth of a new convocation of words. Sometimes a single act is needed to give closure to the past, and light up the road to the future. Today sees the arrival of several things. It's A new day, i'm wearing a new shirt, there's a new dude at my office; but most importantly...

THE PREMIERSHIP TITLE HAS ARRIVED AT OLD TRAFFORD!

haha. Yes my friends, The title race is finally over, and the title has come home to rest at Old Trafford. What a season it has been indeed. 9pts, wait 11 pts, wait 6pts, DAMN! 3pts, phew 5Pts, NO!, 6 pts..and now, with 7, the boys can pat themselves deservedly on the back.

Many a time, people have asked me, why the hell we get so worked up over football. Especially, since it ain't really our town, league or country for that matter. Well, its true in a sense. I've yet to set foot in the famous stands of Old Trafford. And i'll probably situate myself somewhere in this big world, where a season ticket will never find itself with my name on it. Yet as i see it, i will always be a Manchester United Fanatic.

Football to me, isn't just a game. The cliche would be, "It's my passion". But its more than that. It's a blind fervour, it's an unreciprocated infatuation, it's a heartbreak, and it's a sense of fulfillment. Every 90 minutes is a monumental battle, it is not 22 men, chasing a ball as some non-believers say.

No, it's 2 bodies, whole and independant. Manchester United vs The Challenger. Mutant Giants with 11 limbs. haha, engaged in a battle of Wit, skill and sometimes PLain pure luck. From the time i saw Cantona, with his upturned collar, stately gait, and Confident Arrogance. Donned in the Red of the Devil, i thought to myself, i wanna be like him. The passion with which he played, the confidence with which he carried himself. I fell in love with the Team that commandeered men of that calibre.

Watchin giggs, make a mockery of all on that left flank, the thunderous shots of Mark hughes, the aggression of Roy keane, and of cos, the sheer Audacity of Eric Cantona. My feet became firmly and surely planted in amongst the United Faithful.

Blame it on exposure, marketing, or the numerous spectacular victories. But of all the challengers, this little boy, on this little island, was allured to only one brand of Football. Manchester United.

I'm a United Fan.

An Angel's Requiem

She bid us Farewell,

And closed Her eyes,

A year ago, Today,

Our Phenomenal Mother,

How much we miss Her,

Words have no Means to say,

Still Her smile lingers,

Framed safely in our Hearts,

Her Memory reigns there strong,

The Only Angel we knew,

Was You, Dearest Mother,

Your Love, within Us, Lives On.

===========================