Reflection

Reflection
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I let my thoughts wander,
Each time a Little Too Far,
They yearn to Understand my journey,
To know who's driving this car,

I see a person in the mirror,
A weathered, unfamiliar face,
How he arrived in my Reflection,
My Memory fails to Place.

I long to return to the Bosom,
Of a time of a Childish Bliss..
A Place where Innocence flowed Unbound,
As Fountains in a Golden Chalice...
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This is another old poem. Something i'd like to keep. From one of my lonely nights away from home a long time ago. Entangled in trivialities. However, such is life. Sometimes it just feels as if we're not in control, that someone hit that autopilot switch, and we're just along for the ride. Maybe it is. Maybe It isn't, but i think this "Reflection" doesn't change anytime that i read it.

Irony

I always wait till i have something meaningful to write, before i decide to come here and put something down. However, increasingly, i find that there's little meaningful, insightful, or funny for me to write about. Either my ability to eviscerate humour from the world around me has taken a severe hammering, or, there's just nothing much going on!

My life has kind of settled into a routine. Monday to Sunday. Same things, same people, same time, same everything. As Stephen King so eloquently put it, its basically been, SSDD;

Same Shit Different Day.

Such melancholy, just punctures a hole in your sinews of creativity. And all your inspiration, contemplations, and musings just seep out through there, into the void that is routine. Absent of that little spark of difference.

But therein, Therein lies the irony doesn't it? In melancholy lies the muse, and in having nothing of note to pen, words have conglomerated to form the idea, that there is no idea.

Life's little ironies. Found yours for today yet or are you still confused?

Morbid Dreams

Morbid Dreams
+++++++++
He Awoke Forthwith,
Cold sweat on his cheeks,
The dream was warm,
With a cold Hard Twist,
The stains on his face,
A Testament; Birth,
Of teary knives skidding,
From Eye to Earth,

His Glassy eyes took in,
The Icy Glaze of the Environs,
Unable to Discern,
The Edge of Reality's Pylons,
Fingers trembling,
He reached into the Mist,
A Desperate Grasp,
For Comfort's Fading Wrist,

Eyes Open, He slumbered Once More,
A corpse writhed Among Sheep,
Only to wake, Finally Cognizant,
It wasn't A Dream,
The Mist was real,
The Devil had Come to Call..

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Sometimes, we live through moments, that seem dark and void of all things good. And often, we find that the dank gloom is not unfamiliar; maybe because dark alleys all carry the same aura of foreboding. Of course, in time, such moments pass, and things might get better. But, This is for those Dark times.

Obviously! lol

Sun-Fright

I really have to say, that apart from when i'm playing football, i really have an aversion to sunlight. The sheer brightness of the world thru my open windows every morning, are a consistent pain on my grubby/drunk/not-enough-sleep eyes (cancel as appropriate).

Nights on the other hand, are so much more inviting. You can do everything comfortably. You eat the best meal of the day at night, you can sleep whenever you want(until of course the sunlight comes and stabs you in the eye), you can cozy up to a scary/dramatic/pot-head movie, You can bring yourself a step closer to qualifying for alcoholics anonymous, You can look at stars, and you can CHOOSE the kinda light, and the level of light you want, its just so much more condescending the night is. It's like spending the weekend at you Grandparents house, they let you get away with anything!

I know you morning people are out there, with your 5.30am alarms, and 6am jogs. Absolutely mental if you ask me. Daylight should be for all of 4hrs, long enough for plants to photosynthesis, for us to clear our emails, have our bacon for the day, and return to relaxing bosom of night.

Hmm, i wonder who i can petition to!?

Split ends

I've effectively gone from the Not-so-daily-gazza, to the Once-in-awhile-if-you're-lucky gazza. Well, not like any one is up in arms, and holding cyber rallies that i'm not writing, so its really not too bad. Except for myself, when i look at the triple-declining balance form that my post counts are taking over time.

Anyways, there's just been a lack of inspiration aura about me, that's just sucked all ideas, and positive action out of me. I've turned into a net potato, scouring the deviously deep depths of cyberspace, boldly following links that no man has ever followed before.

I wish. lol
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Now, as for you Mr. Descartes aka Mark, for the whole God is looking over us bit. I think its far from true. If every good thing is to be attributed to an almighty, then i think its only fair that every bad thing should bear his signature too.

Yet, conventional religion teaches different. Good things come from above, and all the messed up things is the doing of that dude from Australia. Which hardly seems fair, cause even if we think something bad is from God, we believe its a test, and that its only going to get better if we get out of it. We don't go around denouncing him, and trying to exorcise him from our lives do we?

I doubt that reality is tied in with a God overlooking us. Most of the time, its a handful of good friends, and the love of a family, or even a random good-willed stranger. And the old, God is moving thru them argument, is a little overused. Cos really, he should be moving thru some OTHER people instead, like those goons tearing the world apart for silver cars, castles, and bottomless swiss bank accounts.

Nope when good things happen, it means that you did good. And if bad things happen, well you probably screwed up some where, and frankly, we'll never ever get things the way we want it, there's just too many ever-changing variables that go into keeping one happy, that'll it'll never ever balance. So bad things happening to you is the one things you can bet your left eye on! hehe

California Dreaming

Alright, i've been taking a long break. Not really! Busy times these are, what with wars, Birthdays, and dodgy Traffic police, a Man rarely has time to even remember that he has to come here and write on occasion.

Anyways, i know i promised you Mr. Descartes that i'd have an answer for you, but i feel like a more pressing feeling to write about this song. I was listening to it twice on my way to work today, its a good song, called "California Dreaming." The First part of the Song,

All the Leaves are Brown,
And the Sky is Grey,
I've Been for a Walk,
On a Winter's Day,
I'd be Safe and warm,
If I was in LA,
California Dreaming,
On Such a Winter's Day..

And you know what, I AM California Dreaming.

The Living Years

There is a song that my sister introduced me to a couple of years ago. It's called the "The Living Years", By Mike and the Mechanics. We were in a car when i heard that song; seems so long ago; Like another life time. I guess its because life this way of throwing rather sharp turns. And we hardly know where we end up till we get there.

Anyways, since April 13, 2006, this song took a different meaning for me. I always find that when i listen to it, especially when i'm alone, it always brings a tear to my eye. Yet, every time i burn a CD for my car, i always make sure i put it in.

And then there'll be evenings like yesterday, when it's a late and long day, i'm in my car, driving home alone, and this song comes on, and its words resound in my ear, and i find that familiar tear again. But i love it, because it helps me remember. And i won't give that up for the world.

But i hope this song will help you in a different and brighter way.

Here's the lyrics to the song:

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him
In the living years

Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up,
And don't give in
You may just be OK

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning
When my father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say.
I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him
In the living years

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye
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And here's the Video for you too..=)

Good Bye August

Finally the Sun decides to make a brief glimpse from behind the Dark Clouds that have been enveloping our Fair City, incessantly, bathing us in torrential rain. Ironically, maybe even a little diabolically, at the times when we are gearing up for football. Seriously! What is up with that!?

Hopefully, this weather holds out until Sunday. The loss of Football is almost too painful to bear. Father Weather has been neglecting his duties. Anyways, i hardly have anything, good, funny or intelligent to say, so i'll just leave it at that.

Good Bye August!

Macbeth's Curse

Macbeth's Curse
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Silent Memories Rekindled,
Replaying that Solemn day,
Behind the eyes, Encamped,
Emotions they foray,
Little Peace, Birth of time,
They shatter in moments,
Their murder within,
Hidden without Testament,

El Muerte thru him, Paid a visit,
Ill-Timed, One Dark Spring Noon,
Tainting his hands with Blood,
Shining Dark in the light of the Moon,
As Her Sails Bore her west,
The Sunset Caressing her Face,
Macbeth's Curse He Toted,
As her memory he Embraced,

Memory Lane Has no end,
Only a Gate to time,
A Path trodden bare,
Footprints Revisited,
Hooked on the Same Line
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Rain Pain

Rainy days are nice, if you're home, feeling lazy, have a nice movie, cozy in bed, wrapped in a blanket with the curtains drawn, and, i can just go on and on. But None of it will entail, sitting in a white wash office, answering irritating phone calls, and drinking cup after cup of instant coffee.

The weather has really been a bitch recently. HOT AS HITLER'S ROOM IN HELL! Up until 4pm on sunday. When suddenly, all these black-i-hate-football clouds materialise out of nowhere, and proceed to behave like Katrina's 2nd cousins twice removed!

And since, Bishan Park is not a nickname for Carrington training Ground, and under soil heating is about 20 million years coming, Football Got CANCELLED for the first time ever. And i've been weeping in sorrow ever since.

Alot more terrible things happened since than. But, i thought i'd just leave these pages light. =)