IF......

If
++++++

If every argument can be won by the presence of inebriation,
Leave debate in the wake of sobriety,
If every opinion is ill defended by its beneficiary,
Leave Cause in the Wake of Cowardice,
If Belief is the victim of Tenure,
Leave morals in the wake of Comfort,
If Every person is to be the sum of anothers' mistakes,
Leave ambition in the wake of Failure...
If you believe in the follies of others,
Leave Life in the Wake of inabilty,
If the man was Named by my Mother,
Leave Sobriety, Cowardice, failure, comfort and Inability,
In the wake of My Self...

======================

When someone validates themselves by society's singularities, this poem is JUST COOL!

Familiar Morning..

Today was another familiar morning, one that i've thought of writing about, but often chosen to suppress instead. Its a morning where i awake, flooded with the memories of my mother, and her passing..

Its a morning where i can't turn around to go back to sleep, because every image, every feeling and every sensation, pulsates through every single cell that composes me. Glimpses of memories of her strongest moments, and her lowest ones, the smile on her face, along with the sadness in her eyes, My defining moments, dwarfed by my transgressions, culminating in the vicious reenactment of her deathbed.

Each icy moment as her breath left her in my arms, each story, or reassurance, supplanted by the darkness of my actions, every emotion and fear, revisited with a fervor that only the mind knows how to replicate.

Would i trade this morning for another? No. I won't. A morning like this, defines me and reminds me, It holds her true to me, and is unique to me. My mother and i, were close, without speaking, without overt affections. We shared a link, that words, and relations cannot describe. In exchanged glances and sheer presence, we spoke not frivolities, but comfort and truth. Our disagreements were fiery and we loved freely, for we begot each other.

Wherever i was, i knew i was safe because i could return, and she never hid her knowledge, that i would never be too far from her. And without warning, unprepared, that security was taken from me. Alienated, i stand in a world, misunderstood and deposed, searching for the hand that held mine. And these mornings, in their entirety, are the closest i will ever get to those irreplaceable fingertips.

Cliches and condolences are abundant, but the depth of an abyss is only known to the one who falls through it, and only when i reach my own end, will i truly be able to awake to a different morning to relish...

Replaced

Everything in the world around us is inevitably replaced. The countless leaves on the towering trees that fill our landscapes, those trees themselves, clouds, wind, sunshine, bugs, flowers, pathways, EVERYTHING. Including ourselves, we will be replaced, by something else. Our dead mothers, fathers, uncles and aunts, cousins, sons, daughters, even grandchildren, should something happen to them, will be replaced, some how or some way, be it a daughter that is born after a mother's death, or a wife, or a honestly reassuring husband after the death of a father, someone comes along to replace the loss.

But what does one do, when you are replaced alive? When the world around you substitutes your place out? When family, often the pinnacle, or inspiration or solidarity in your life, replaces you; with someone else?

And you never know when it happens. Until, the realization creeps on you, like a vine up your spine. As with each action and inaction, words, and expressions, slowly you are weaned on to the knowledge that you have been replaced. As the reality slowly manifests in front of you, that where you once belonged, now you are an outsider.

A cruel joke of time and tide. They both truly wait for no man, of any stature or standing, of birth or life. Intricacies are replaced with superfluities, and the incidence is replace by its derivative. The sense of welcome and belonging are short lived for many that have endured an exodus. If Moses himself, was not accepted by his people, what more a normal man?

That day, when the revelation dawns, in the midst of the flurry of friends and family, when in all consciousness, you are dislodged, and another takes your place. It is then, the conundrum that is life elicits not an answer, but a question, penned by one of the greatest Poets of all time,

To be, Or Not To be.....

A Night, Like this..

A Night, Like this..
===========================

On a night much like this,
A Star of a tragic parody,
Parading the stage of life,
Valiantly battles the blows,
Of Sorrow's double-edged Knife,

On a night just like this,
Each strike he did not dodge,
Held true to his old scars,
Breaking the cover of his bosom,
Slicing a piece of his heart,

Yes, It was a night like this,
What little was left in the jester,
Gradually, became no more,
A heart, peeled away,
Lay as petals, On the floor...

=======================

Y = 0X

Mathematics, in my opinon, affords us an affluent avenue with which to summarily express our lives. However, the linear equation which maps our pitiful existence, is not in itself a predisposed channel of revelation, but in itself, an inequality. It cannot be mapped or graphed for the same reason we do not know the outcome of the next day.

Therein lies an anomaly. A point of interaction between the origins and the experiences unique to any graphical equation, and its willful radical. In the matter of life, that pivotal moment is the unequivocal marriage of will and the absence of itself. The point where the derivative which represents will, meets its benevolant equal in the execution of its function, the point where:

y=0x

The revelative essence of when irrelevancy meets congruency, when the disparate meets the form, the Ultimate subtraction, of the beginnning meeting the end. That is the linear equality of the truth of my own existence at this moment. The benign expungence of the oxymoron that is the effectual ineffectuality of the infinity. The linear INequality that summarises my life...

Do you understand?

A Return..

Its almost 6 months since my last signature into cyberspace. In that time, i've moved continents, countries, and most recently cities. That air of change that seems to permeate the atmosphere worldwide. Changing world leaders, collapsed markets, and Manchester United losing to Liverpool 4-1 at home, what is the world coming to?



I've missed my friends, the 226/kovan sessions. But they've been replaced with O'hearns, Norwood and the likes. Very very turbulent 6 months so far. I'm still searching for some resemblance of stability which constantly seems to evade me. But i guess, that is just the inate nature of life.



i would like to mark this return to the written word with a few lines from a coldplay song that has been on the top of my playlists for while now...

I used to Rule the world,
Seas would Rise when i gave the word,
Now in the morning i sleep alone...
Sweep the streets i used to own...

I just feel that there was some element of prophetic poetry in that song...=D Cheers World. I hope i see you all sooner than in another 6 months

Renew

Renew
===============

There is little inspiration,
In this distant isolation,
Living silent, Alone,
In quiet insulation,
A single heart's Contention,
Broken, a Noteless Tone,
Love, Spring this prison,
Help me cross this chasm,
Betray these bonds of Knives,
Bequeath me your radiance,
I beseech thee with fervence,
Return thyself into this Life...

==================

Of Missing You

Of Missing You
====================

Hearken the murmur of my heart,
Dear lady, as it beats your name,
Rapt from earthly holds,
Into a poet's quiet domain,
Forlorn by the painful absence,
Of your beatific smile's solace,
My soul writhes in these words,
Severed from your radiant countenance,
Dear lady, Heavens' first perfection,
The Quintessence of my life's laughter,
You left your mark, branded in my soul,
You alone are this heart's veneer...

===========================

Voyage Home

Voyage Home
===================
Listen, Stop and Listen
Gaia speaks in silence,
Turn your ears,
Heed her whispers,
The Evanescence,
of your Worries Vapors,

Come home, she beckons,
Dear wayward children,
Return to my embracing bosom,
Voyage in peace, into the Time,
When the world were all brethren,

Guarded in the blanket,
Of the Loved that left us,
Each a star in the northern sky,
A million loving smiles,
Laying you in the arms of Morpheus.

==================================

Just a few words, to summarise, how important nature is to us. I'm a city boy, i like my five star hotels, and soft beds with fluffy towels in the bathrooms. But every now and then, its important to go out, to see whats there, to go home, to listen to the silence of peace, and to remember who you are. Cos thats what cities and people do, they make you forget. So please, if you can, take the time to Go Home..

The Outback return

It has been Months since i last wrote. I'd say the better part of the year has past(but it really was the worst i hope). I had surgery on my shoulder that kept me in a brace for around 2.5 months, and when i start the slow long process of rehab, the joy of writing sort of left me.

But 8 months later here i am, in perth, on a little much needed holiday. I spent a day and night out in the outback on friday, and truly What a renewing experience. After a long time of booze and woes, i finally found some inspiration.

I'm a prissy city boy, but being in australia, i just had to go out to the bush abit. So we did, my friend jai and i, he booked us on this little Outback adventure thing, and off we went, on the road at 6am in the morning on friday. First stop, Gripthorpe farm.

Part of the experience starts off on a farm. Where we spent the morning with Gus, our brilliant guide/owner of the farm. We were lucky first off, cos they were roundin up the cattle that day. Something they do only once every 6months(so we were bloody lucky). And i tell you, that was an eye opener. Never in my lifetime, would i have expected to take part in such an extravagenza! Nope that is the right word. 300 odd cows, shufflin them thru to the paddock.

Every now and then, you'd get a bugger turn around and look at you. And then you wonder, hmmm does this bugger realise he's bigger then me? lol But thankfully none of them did, and jai and i helped Gus, Bryan and Vanessa round up the cows.

We spent the rest of the morning, lookin at his other livestock, feeding the pigs(where i saw the biggest pig in my life!), Gave milk to some baby kangaroos, chased some sheep over the pasture. I thought, the day couldn't top that!!

And then it did, we went up to the boshack, and Met derrick our guide for the day. Took as on a little journey, telling us stories about the Aboriginals and the different plants. We trekked to the bush to old Abo huts to taste some Croc, and emu meat. Then we rode in a hay bin, which i swear to u is one of the most FUN things to do on a sunny outback afternoon!

The serenity of the bush around the campsite, was unbelievable. Standing in the midst of the trees, it actually sounds like you're in the middle of the ocean. As the wind moves through the branches of each tree, you hear the sound of waves, slowly tumbling across the shore. It was one of the most peaceful experiences i've had since i was in Utah years ago.

After our trek, jai and i took out a canoe onto the cold lake. Now this is a lake u have to see to believe. It looks as if it just got flooded a week ago. All sort of trees, poking out through the water. One word, Surreal...

After that, Derrick built a fire for the evening, and together with 2 other english backpackers traveling the world, we sat down and enjoyed our evening. A brilliant bush flavoured Lamb roast for dinner, Good friends, a beautiful fire, a cold beer, under the most beautifully lit sky i can remember, i hadn't a care in the world.

I could go on and on. So many details, so many things. I've only barely summarised our day. There's a changin winding in my life, and i've been struggling with it. However, being so close to nature, is renewing in itself. We are all so estranged from it. The fresh air, the simple pleasures. Truly if anything ever really bothers you, head out into a little sunshine, see the beauty that surrounds u, breath in peace as the world you're part of intended. Feel the new life in your veins, as Mother Nature weans on you...